Yes!

Yes it was violent

How is
this violent?

To establish and maintain control and a climate of violence, abusers employ various means to either limit the opportunities for the victim's support network to intervene and support her, or limit the victim's access to her support system. In this exchange, the abuser uses various strategies (sarcasm, insults, manipulation, veiled threats, etc.) to make the victim drop her plans to go out, and instead focus on his needs. As time goes on the victim will very likely feel increasingly tense when spending time with her family or friends and eventually become isolated from them.

In your opinion

Is there a real risk that the abuser will "do something stupid" if the victim does not submit to his wishes?

Yes

A violent partner can go to great lengths to convince his victim that he's right or make her pay for refusing to give in to his demands. It is normal for victims to be anxious about such threats, but they are never responsible for any acts their partner may commit.

Veiled threats

76%

Nearly 76% of the participants stated that their partner had made "veiled" threats, in other words, threats to "do something that would have consequences" without specifying exactly what "something" is. Making a threat that they will "do something stupid" as in this conversation, or saying something like "you don't know what I'm capable of doing" are thus very common threats. Such threats are very effective because victims are left to imagine the worst scenario.

In an online survey that SOS violence conducted in 2019 with 309 victims of intimate partner violence

  • Have you recognized your situation
    in these conversations?
  • Have you recognized
    someone else’s situation?
  • Would you like to talk about it?

Get some help

Are you a victim of intimate partner violence or do you know someone who is… Get help right now!

Phone

24/7 throughout Québec
1 800 363-9010

Choose a texversation
Choose a texversation
Choose a texversation
Choose a texversation
My way or the highway
My way or the highway
Hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf
Breathing space
Breathing space
Every breath you take
Every breath you take
Can't touch this
Can't touch this

Get some help

Are you a victim of intimate partner violence or do you know someone who is… Get help right now!

Phone

24/7 throughout Québec
1 800 363-9010

For help elsewhere in Canada

For help elsewhere in the world

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    113 Protection line

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    24/7 Hotline for Women, Juveniles and Children

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    Direct Line for Victims of Violence

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    Domestic Violence Helpline

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    DONA Line

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    Fédération nationale solidarité femmes

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    Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina - SOS Line for Help of Women and Children, victims of domestic violence

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    Fraentelefon

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    Hürriyet Emergency Domestic Violence Hotline

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    Kvennaathvarfið shelter helpline

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    Live Fear Free Helpline

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    LOKK Hotline

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    NaNE Helpline for Battered Women and Children

  • 🇺🇸

    National Domestic Violence Hotline

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    National Emergency Service for Survivors of Family Violence Blue Line

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    National Helpline for Women Victims of Domestic Violence

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    National Hot Line on Prevention of Domestic Violence

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    National Hotline for survivors of domestic violence

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    National Line for Women Surviving Violence

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    National SOS Line

  • 🇩🇪

    National Women’s Helpline

  • 🇬🇪

    National Women’s Helpline

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    National Women’s Helpline

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    Numero verde Antiviolenza Donna

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    Pagalbos Moterims Linija

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    Republika Srpska - SOS Line for Help of Women and Children, victims of domestic violence

  • 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

    Scottish Women's aid

  • 🇪🇸

    Servicio telefónico de información y de asesoramiento jurídico en material de violencia de género

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    Serviço de Informação às Vitimas de Violéncia Doméstica

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    SOS Helpline for Victims of Violence

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    SOS Helpline for Women and Children – Victims of Violence

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    SOS Hotline

  • 🇿🇦

    Stop gender violence line

  • 🇲🇹

    Supportonline 179

  • 🇸🇪

    Terrafem

  • 🇦🇲

    The National Hotline for Women Victims of Domestic Violence and their Children

  • 🇳🇿

    The women's refuge

  • 🇲🇩

    Trust Line

  • 🇪🇪

    Tugitelefon

  • 🇳🇱

    Veilig Thuis

  • 🇨🇭

    Women helpline

  • 🇮🇪

    Women's Aid Freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline

  • 🇫🇮

    Women's Line

  • 🇱🇮

    Women’s Helpline Frauenhaus