Yes it was violent
To establish and maintain control and a climate of violence, abusers employ various means to either limit the opportunities for the victim's support network to intervene and support her, or limit the victim's access to her support system. In this exchange, the abuser uses various strategies (sarcasm, insults, manipulation, veiled threats, etc.) to make the victim drop her plans to go out, and instead focus on his needs. As time goes on the victim will very likely feel increasingly tense when spending time with her family or friends and eventually become isolated from them.
In your opinion
Is there a real risk that the abuser will "do something stupid" if the victim does not submit to his wishes?
A violent partner can go to great lengths to convince his victim that he's right or make her pay for refusing to give in to his demands. It is normal for victims to be anxious about such threats, but they are never responsible for any acts their partner may commit.
Nearly 76% of the participants stated that their partner had made "veiled" threats, in other words, threats to "do something that would have consequences" without specifying exactly what "something" is. Making a threat that they will "do something stupid" as in this conversation, or saying something like "you don't know what I'm capable of doing" are thus very common threats. Such threats are very effective because victims are left to imagine the worst scenario.
Have you recognized your situation
in these conversations?
Have you recognized
someone else’s situation?
- Would you like to talk about it?
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